Confession

Almighty God, our heavenly Father; We have sinned against you, through our own fault, in thought, and word, and deed, and in what we have left undone. For the sake of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, forgive us all our offenses; and grant that we may serve you in newness of life, to the glory of your Name. Amen.

Confession, I confess, is not something I really enjoy or something I am comfortable with.  My church background has included very little confession. In the small church I grew up in, I only remember people going forward to confess anything if 1) they got pregnant or 2) actually, I only remember one.

Since then, I’ve been to other churches and have seen people confess in a group setting other things as well, although not frequently. And, I confess, I am always so nervous and uncomfortable when someone comes forward. I want to look away or hide or something even when whatever is happening has nothing to do with me. I confess I am scared of public confession.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about confession and how uncomfortable it seems to make most Americans feel. I feel like a lot of the time when “confession” happens it is in small groups under the cover of gossip or something else that isn’t confession at all, but more of a “Well, you know I do that, too; thought that evil thought, talked about that person, etc. But, doesn’t everybody?”

I confess that I do that, too. And, I’d like to stop it and be more real about my confessions.

Maybe that’s why I really liked this confession poem from The Book of Common Prayer. It’s simple. It’s real. It’s transparent. It’s confessional.

Lately, I’ve been having an urge to go forward at church or do something rash. And, not because I am pregnant “out of wedlock” or caught in some addictive sin. It just seems like our churches could use a little confession–confession about the “little” things like… “This week, I purposely avoided talking to my neighbor because I was in a hurry.” Like… “This week, I was so lazy that I didn’t do the dishes until Friday.” Like… “This week, I was ungrateful for my job every day.” Like…”Sometimes I get irritated with my kids and don’t appreciate the blessing they are in my life.” Like…”I didn’t read God’s Word all week and I ignored God” Like…”I wear my best to church to cover up the ugly heart underneath.” Like…”I did my job this week and worked at home and didn’t think about anybody but myself and my family. I refused to care for the lost.” Like…you name it.

I think that when God tells us to “confess our sins to each other and pray for each other,” he isn’t just talking about the “BIG SINS.” Maybe God wants me to confess all the stuff I think is “little.” Maybe by confessing to other faithful Christians and having them pray for me, I’ll realize some of my “little” problems are really rather big. Maybe I’ll realize that through confession, I can have healing and allow God to bind up my wounds and heal my heart. Maybe I’ll not excuse my sin by saying other people do, think, act that way, too.

It seems like there’s a facade in our churches today that’s really hard to break through. I confess I’m part of that facade. And, I confess I want to be real. Lord, help me in my fake-ness!

As long as I’ve been in the habit lately of borrowing words from poets, I’ll be borrowing these from The Book of Common Prayer for a while. And, trying to not just recite them, but have them convict me.

Confession isn’t about show or who’s-done-more-bad-things-and-still-loves-Jesus. It’s about honesty and change.

It’s about realizing, after all, we’re human behind our plastic masks. And, God is God, and nothing is hidden from Him. It’s not about mustering up enough strength or energy to change ourselves, though. It’s about allowing Him to change us from the inside out.

If you have a few more minutes, read this blog post about Cardboard Testimonies.