Fear. Fear Not.

We are usually prepared for the questions. It’s true. We’ve been to so many different churches in the last year, that usually we know what to expect. Why did you pick Southeast Asia? What’s the food like? Will you have electricity? Will you own a car?  Is it safe? etc., etc.,

Usually, we know what to expect. But, this time was different.

“Everything in your presentation sounds great. It sounds like a great opportunity for the Gospel, and I can tell you are excited. But, what are you scared about? What are your fears?”

Yes, that’s the question. The one you don’t know if you should answer honestly–especially at a church where we don’t really have a lot of personal connections, a church where people don’t really know us.

I think the question took both of us off guard. But, Daniel answered it, honestly. And, then after being asked what scared me, so did I. And in some ways it felt really good to be real and honest.  We aren’t “super” Christians. We don’t have everything figured out. And, yes, we are even scared sometimes, too.

I’m generally a talker and sometimes I don’t know what I think about something until I get a chance to talk about it for a while. So, I guess it’s natural that since that day, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I ended up saying in response to that question. Because there are things that I am scared of.  And despite the comments “You are so brave!” we get from people sometimes, I don’t always feel brave. In fact, some times it is terrifying.

Daniel has said before that for us, moving to Southeast Asia is the “unavoidable conclusion of our attempt to follow Jesus.” And, it’s true. It’s not that we’re brave. Or super Christians. Or have things figured out. Or better than other people who are “normal” Christians here in America. It’s not that we didn’t have a choice in the matter, though. We did. But, our choice has been would we continue to follow God? We answered yes. And, God has led us –unavoidably– to Southeast Asia.

So, we leave in seven days. And, I’m excited. And I’m scared.

I’m scared that.. I’m scared that… I’m scared that…  The list could go on and on.

But, really what’s the point?

Again and again, despite my fears–real or imagined, despite my worry, despite moments of thinking “Are we totally crazy?!” Despite all of that, God has reassured me of some things I do know without a doubt that bring me peace amidst the fear.

First of all, we are “successful” because God has chosen us and adopted us as his children. Period. We won’t be more successful if we stay longer. Or stay shorter.  Or complete nothing. Or complete Bibles for all the groups who don’t have one. Think of Abraham, the prophet Jeremiah, Stephen who was stoned, John the Baptist and many others–were they successful in the eyes of their society? Probably not. Did they see the results of their work in their lifetime? No. Were they obedient to what God had called each of them to? Yes.

I hope we have a long and fruitful ministry. I hope our goals are met. I hope our leaving is somehow a special blessing to our family, even though saying goodbye is terrible and leaving them feels at times horrible. I hope we get to live long enough to see the difference this move makes for the Kingdom. I hope.

But, our job is to abide in His love and not worry about what He has or will call us to. Our job is not to worry about seeking the approval of men. We are successful if we are OBEDIENT to God. We are successful if we are FAITHFUL to God.