Good Deeds, Bad Attitude
Confession: I do a lot of good deeds. It’s true. I hate to brag but, you might know that I live overseas, as in I live out of America, the land of good and plenty. And, obviously, that’s pretty special you know.
I can cook up a meal for a ton of people and play hostess like no one’s business. I give money to poor beggars at the market at least once a week. I pray for the sick and hurting. I take care of my babies (did you realize I have FOUR!) and teach Sunday school to neighbor children. I cook dinner about 6 nights a week, besides lunches. I greet my neighbors with a smile and offer guests to my house the expected cup of coffee, even when they weren’t even invited.
So, as you can see, I wasn’t lying when I said I do a lot of good deeds. And, that’s not even the half of it. But, there is just a tiny, little problem: I have a bad attitude a lot of the time.
Confession: I am ashamed to say that between the cups of coffee served to uninvited guests and the meals I put on the table for my family, I can be moody, grouchy, irritable, unloving, short tempered, and downright angry.
If you only read my Facebook posts, you might not realize this about me. You might see a smiling face of our happy guests, or the most adorable baby in the world and a smiling mom. It’s easy to admire anyone, from a distance.
But I fight this inner fight of a bad attitude daily.
Some days I win the battle and other days I lose it. Really lose it. Ask my husband or my kids. And, as much as I want to do good deeds for my friends and neighbors, what I really want to be is a good wife and a good mother. What I really want to be is a godly wife and a godly mother.
More and more I am understanding that the process of becoming a Christ follower is indeed a process. And, I shouldn’t stop trying to be like Christ. It’s not enough for me to do good deeds if I have a bad attitude. I know that the real, hard, lasting work Christ wants to accomplish is the work IN me, not just the good deeds He does THROUGH me.
I am convinced that despite my bad attitude, God has used me to do good. He does this often all through the people in Bible and in Christians today. None of us are good, but He is good and allows His goodness to shine through us to bring others to himself. And, it is truly amazing— how God can use us even when we are so broken ourselves.
People sometimes admire me for the good works I “produce” on the outside; I admire them for the good attitude they produce on the inside.
I want that good attitude, too. I want to allow Christ to work IN me and THROUGH me. I want to be full of joy and the Holy Spirit rather than full of negativity and criticism. The church-y word I’m looking for perhaps is sanctification: “the act or process of acquiring sanctity, of being made or becoming holy,” “set apart for particular use in a special purpose or work and to make holy or sacred.”
Confession: God, forgive me. I am not there yet. I want the fruits of the Spirit in my heart and in my life in deeper, more tangible ways. I want to retrain my brain to think first of the positive, rather than the negative. I want my first response to be one of grace rather than judgement. I want at least to develop a longer space between my inward negative first response and the outward produced response. I want my attitude to be that of Christ. I want to do good deeds with a good attitude.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.
9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11 New Living Translation (NLT)
Have you ever done good deeds with a bad attitude? What helped you?