Naming the Losses
Let’s just be honest. There are things about Asia I don’t like. And, there are things from America that I really miss when we are in Asia. Even though we are committed to being in Asia, some days are really hard (or some weeks for that matter).
I think some people who haven’t lived in another culture may not realize that sometimes the things that are most irritating can seem pretty small at first. The weather. Bugs. Food. Communication options. Differences in household appliances. Etc., etc. All seem like pretty easy things to adjust to or get used to, but actually these “small” things can create a lot of problems with adjustment if you aren’t willing to work past the loss.
I think it is really helpful for people who are planning to live in another culture to think about the losses BEFORE they actually go. It’s easier to start letting go of things mentally before you set foot in your new home. I knew some of the things I was giving up when we first moved to Asia in 2012, but this time going back is different: I’ve actually experienced the losses. It’s one thing to count the cost, it’s another thing to pay it. I know all-to-well now what the losses mean on a day-to-day level.
I hope you won’t feel sorry for me—I hope you will pray for us when the days (or weeks!) are hard and encourage us to stick it out even amidst difficulties. After all, most of these losses really aren’t that important anyway! For everything we leave behind, we gain something in its place. Even if that “something” is simply the joy of knowing that our obedience in going is definitely worth the “loss.”
I don’t mean to complain—so I hope you don’t think I am. But rather than pretend like I’m not giving up things or losing things that are important to me, I just want to take time to name the losses as we are really starting to think about our return.
23 losses
being able to see family canned vegetables cool spring breeze good chocolate long, hot baths watching our kids play with their cousins being able to take our kids to Bible class with their friends holiday traditions: turkey dinner, Christmas lights, trick or treating, egg hunts electricity so consistent that I don’t even think about it fast food buying groceries in bulk storing food in bulk (pantry) sidewalks so many parks leaves changing colors feeling petite (and not “fat” like I’m called almost daily in Asia!) being able to call or text family whenever I want fast internet cool not-even-a-bit-hot weather seeing people frequently who have known you longer than two years (aka feeling truly “at home” with a group of friends) worshiping at a church that speaks your heart language casseroles (we don’t have an oven) plants and birds and trees I know the names of
When I first sat down to write this post, I just started typing in random order and as fast as I could all the things that I know are hard for me to give up when we are in Asia. I numbered the list and when I saw 23 items, I immediately thought of the familiar Psalm 23.
I know at least most (or parts) of the New King James version by heart, but I found the New Living Translation given below refreshing for my daily, practical use. I am committing myself to remember this translation to bring His Word to life. To say these words aloud when the “little things” are driving me crazy or the day (or week) has been hard. To give me perspective on what’s really important anyway.
If you haven’t already committed Psalm 23 to memory, I’d love for you to join me. As you say the words of Scripture, will you pray over us throughout our next term?
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
May every large and small “loss” be replaced by a gain for the discipline of obedience and to the glory of the Kingdom! The Lord is my shepherd, I have all that I need.