What’s your story?

Last night in the twenty-somethings class at West-Ark, Chris led us in a discussion centered around “Cardboard Testimonies.”

Cardboard Testimonies are confessions written on cardboard similar to signs you might see homeless people hold. The difference: there is a Side 1 and Side 2.

For Example:

Side 1: The Before………………………………….Side 2: The After

Convicted felon……………………………………..Bible study teacher

Bondage Pornography…………………………..Freedom in Obedience

Was Addicted to Meth…………………………..Now addicted to Him

Unfaithful, Divorce………………………….Recommitted to my best friend

Self-centered poser……………………………….Ransomed by my King

Something about this is extremely moving and powerful to me. Maybe the catharsis of confession is something I don’t get enough of. And even if it isn’t me confessing personally, watching the video of normal people in the act reminds me that I, too, have a side 1. In fact, it makes me wonder , “What is my side 2?”

When you are raised in a Christian home, I think the tendency is to not really think about a drastic change occurring. Thinking about these cardboard confessions in class last night, Chris asked us about the difference. We can start thinking that we didn’t really need a drastic change, simply a tweaking here or there by the Lord of the Universe.

Some people’s Side 1/Side 2 comparison just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. One little girl’s read, “I know I needed forgiveness/Baptized in Christ.”

I think I was that girl. I mean, I was baptized June 11, 1995. I remember that I wore my green Lion King shirt in the baptismal because I was too small for the special garments, and the Lion King shirt was my favorite. I probably played in my treehouse later that afternoon, and I probably fell asleep that night with my two favorite stuffed animals. Of course, I needed God’s forgiveness through Christ, but in many ways, I was still just an innocent kid.

The biggest change I remember occurring is that I started to write prayers to God shortly after that in a small pink notebook that I still have. I felt like God was my friend now, and I suddenly had permission to write to him as if he were a friend. I wrote about the boys I liked and the problems at home, about days my teacher yelled at the class, and days I was proud of my accomplishments. But, maybe even as an eleven year old kid, I understood that now I did have access to God through His Son. And, that suddenly made all the difference. I could talk to Him. And He was always there.

But, that’s not the end of my Side 2 story. In fact, it was really just the beginning. And my Side 2 story is far from over. There are a lot of blessings of growing up in a Christian home with parents who take you to church and teach you to follow God, but maybe one problem is that we overlook the fact that God has transforming work to do in us too–just as powerful as turning a convict into a Bible school teacher, or a murderer into a light to the Gentiles.

I think it’s our fault if we fail to recognize that, not God’s lack of effort. I’ve been reflecting on just how God has transformed me, but more importantly I’ve been asking God, “What areas of my life, my soul, my heart still need to be transformed?”

And, when I hear Him give me some pointers, I don’t take offense. :-) I know that He just wants what is best for me, and what is best for me is Him transforming my life into the image of His Son. Sometimes, I wonder if it isn’t what I have done that causes God pain, but the things I don’t do that hurt Him the most.

Growing up in the church comes with its own hangups and burdens. And, we’ll never get to our own Side 2 unless we recognize them. We’ll think we are okay. Better than okay. In fact, better than everyone else whose Side 1 makes us blush in embarrassment. (Did they really just show “used to be a stripper,” “addicted to porn,” etc. in a church!?!)

I think for me, the lesson learned is that before I go judging everybody’s Side 1, I really do need to realize just how much I need God in my life. And realize that He wants to transform me too.

To end, an ode to my dad– a song he often sang in the car on our way to church:

He’s still working on me

To make me what I ought to be

It took Him just a week

To make the moon and the stars

The sun and the Earth

And Jupiter and Mars

How loving and patient

He must be

‘Cuz He’s still working on me.

Here’s the youtube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kZQlbyZFtg&feature=quicklist